Monday, January 31, 2011

More Lube

I ordered more lube from today. I ordered the Silk one. I've done my exercises twice since I last blogged. They're still pretty much the same. I get the last one all of the way in, but it hurts. I was able to leave it in for about 45 seconds this time...
I'll keep trying.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Skipping 2

I decided to skip dilator two this time. I went straight from dilator one to three. I think it was easier. Dilator three didn't hurt as much and I was able to leave it in for a little longer--like 30 seconds instead of 10.
I will try that again on Wednesday.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Write your own life story

I'm still trying. I did the dilator exercises again tonight. Again, dilators one and two didn't hurt, but three did. I inserted it twice. The first time i got it all of the way in, but it hurt a lot. The third time, I was only able to get it halfway in because it burned too much.
I plan on doing the dilator exercises again Monday night. I think I may just do dilator one and then three. Maybe inserting two and leaving it in for a few minutes is making me too sore for dilator three.
This is kind of frustrating because I'm sooo close! This is the last dilator!! If I could only get it all of the way in without hurting, I could move on to sex!
But it's also encouraging. I remember when I couldn't even get a q-tip in. There was a time when I couldn't even imagine fitting this dilator in and now I can.
I can't wait for the day when I can write, I've done it!

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Third time's not so charming


I was able to get the biggest dilator all of the way in for the third time today, but it wasn't so great. I did the same thing I did the last two times. I started with dilator one and it was easy, went on to dilator two and it was easy, but dilator three was kind of painful and uncomfortable.
This was probably because I only took a day break in-between and was still a little sore. I think I will take Thursday and Friday off and try the dilators again on Saturday. Sometimes I get upset that I'm not making faster's been seven months....
I'm just trying to stay positive and stay focused!

Monday, January 17, 2011

You guys

I just wanted to say THANK YOU for the comments from the other women who commented on blog that are going through this.
You and others like us are the reason I'm writing this blog.
As for the man or woman who keeps posting negative comments, you can stop. You are never going to change my mind. I will continue to do treatment for vaginismus until I'm cured. or dead.
P.S. You suck, Myupaki! You rock, Fernie, Maggie and JochebedJames!

Heart Attacks are Wack

Sorry it's been a week--my dad had a heart attack! :(
He's home now and doing fine, but its been a crazy week.
On to the dilators:
Dilator 1: All the way in--easy
Dilator 2: All the way in--easy
Dilator 3: went all of the way in, but I had to take it out as soon as it got in.
Meeting After work: no exercises
Do it all over again!

*I'm on the last dilator! All I have to do is get to where it doesn't hurt!!*

Sunday, January 9, 2011


YAAYY! I got the last dilator I'm using all the way in tonight. I started out with the two smaller ones, got them in without any problems and then started in with number three. It went in fairly easily, but it hurt so I had to take it out immediately. I tried to put it in again, but it hurt too much and I had to take it out halfway through. But, I'm still pretty pumped about it! Now, I just have to get to the point where it goes in easily!
So, the dilator v. me score is 3-0 or in tennis terms 40-Love.
P.S. I beat my husband in six out of 10 matches of tennis! haha. win sauce!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

I've never gone this far before

I made it halfway through the last dilator! This is as far as I have gotten in this process. It didn't hurt as much as I thought it would during. But, I did feel dizzy and light headed during. I am more sore now than I usually am though. I also found two good all-natural lubes that don't burn.