Too Important to Give Up

Hi all,

I just got home from the shower. All in all it was a success. Lots of great food, great presents and great friends. I hope the bride-to-be had a most enjoyable time.
However, on a sad note, I received some terrible news while I was there. A good friend of mine from high school's mother committed suicide. She left behind my friend and a young sibling. This is terrible. This, unfortunately, is not my first experience with suicide.
A couple of years ago a great childhood friend of mine, a girl who had everything, committed suicide. As with most cases, there were "superficial" circumstances surrounding both deaths. Such as, a boyfriend leaving. As much as I hurt for my friend that lost their mother and as much as I am hurt by the loss of my friend a few years ago, it makes me realize something.
THIS ISSUE IS TOO IMPORTANT TO GIVE UP.
I have struggled with what I now know to be vaginismus and an intact hymen for five years. For so long, I thought I was a "freak of nature" and I would never be able to overcome this problem.
It wasn't until recently that I started actively seeking help. The loss of these women just reinforces the idea that I must take charge, I must get help.
I don't know what made these women give up. I don't know why at 20 and 40 they thought they had nothing left to live for. Maybe if they had actively searched for help for their problems, they would have made different decisions.
But, I know this. I will never give up. Either the way they did or by just stopping trying.
This is too important. My life is too important. My happiness is too important. My marriage is too important. I AM TOO IMPORTANT.